Well, Crap
by fleeceinabox
Summary: She doesn't get a chance to finish her sentence, because right then, I grabbed her head and brought her lips to mine. I pulled back to see her shocked face. "So, uh, have fun on your date. Yeah. Okay." I turned and headed back to the living room, not waiting to hear her response. A few minutes later, I heard the slamming of her front door. Well, crap. TWO-SHOT
1. Chapter 1

**Hiya! I'm fleeceinabox, a new author in this fanfiction, or on any fanfiction really. You might have seen me around, commenting on some AMAZING stories by the way (check out my favorites list for some great writing and authors). **

**So this is my first time writing a fanfiction of my own. This is just a cute, short and sweet two-shot. I have some ideas for stories, but I wanted to test my writing out in one/two-shots first. If you have any ideas for one/two-shots or full stories you would like to see, please comment because I'd love to hear them and maybe have yours be my first story!**

**So please read and review, constructive criticism encouraged, and enjoy! :)**

**Also, everybody in this story is a sophomore in high school, no wings and AU/AH. And it's all in Fang's POV.**

**Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure my name is not James Patterson, so no, I do not own Maximum Ride.**

You hear all these teenagers always complaining about how high school sucks, and the people suck, and the teachers suck, and the book stuff sucks, and etc. just sucks.

Well, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't agree with all of that. It _does_ suck. I, however, have found a secret weapon to fight off all that suck-iness.

Maximum Ride.

Maximum Ride, or Max, as she would like to called (seriously, she broke my arm when we were twelve for calling her Maximum), is my best friend. She's crazy and beautiful and sarcastic and violent and beautiful and loving and caring and stubborn and, god, did I mention that she was beautiful?

Max is the reason that I haven't died from high school suck-iness yet. She keeps things interesting, y'know? Everything just lights up when she's around. Not that I'm like in love with her or anything. Because I'm not. Actually, even if I was, she wouldn't feel the same way. It would ruin our friendship. Or end with her kicking my special area. Or both.

Besides, she's going on a date tonight, with another guy. I was there with her when he asked her out to a dinner and a movie (how boring can you be?). I still remember it like it was yesterday. Well, actually, it happened this morning so—you know what, never mind, just flash back with me.

**FLASHBACK**

"Give me your hand." I looked up from furiously trying to finish my math homework before class starts at Max.

"Why?"

"Just put your hand out. I want to see something," she said, looking at me expectantly.

I sighed and did as she said. That girl has got me wrapped around her finger.

She grinned and grabbed my hand. "Okay," she said, and started pulling each of my fingers, saying a word with each one. "This—is—your—sex—voice!" With that, she pulled my pinky down, HARD I might add, resulting in a rather shrill shriek from me and a fit of snort-laughs from her.

That's another thing about Max. She doesn't giggle or chuckle or whatever. Whenever she finds something amusing, she snort-laughs. It's adorable.

Ahem.

"What the _hell _is wrong with you?" I asked incredulously. She paid me no attention and actually started holding her stomach in pain from laughing too much. And I couldn't help but laugh, too.

"What's so funny?" I looked up and saw Sam Hillman standing above us with a smile on his face.

Max, surprisingly, stoped laughing and—_oh my god, was she blushing_? "Oh, hi, Sam," she said, almost nervously, as he took a seat behind her.

"Hey, Max. How are you doing?" _How are you doing?_ Who even says that anymore, is he—okay, no I'm not jealous, I was just saying. I unclenched my jaw and shook my head to clear my thoughts.

Tuning back into the conversation, I saw Sam grinning at Max and her giggling. Max. Giggling. God, help me.

"So, uh, Max, I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight? With me, like on a date. Maybe we could get dinner afterwards, or something.."

Max perked up. "Yeah, sure! That sounds great."

Sam blinked, as if he wasn't expecting her to say yes. Well, I wasn't either, but that was just my own hopes and dreams fooling me. "Oh, okay—yeah, okay, I'll pick you up at five."

"Okay," Max said in a breath, as he stands and walks back to his friends, who are cheering and clapping. Son of a bitch.

I looked back at her, one eyebrow raised, knowing that it bothers her that I can do that and she can't. Although, this time, it doesn't seem to have an effect on her happy mood.

She just smiled at me and turned back to the front of the room. Somebody kill me now.

**FLASHBACK OVER**

So here I am, lounging on her couch in her living room while our little sisters help her get ready for her stupid date. They were both crazy for dressing up and that stuff, and were always trying to convince Max to be their doll. Usually Max refused, but she actually asked them to doll her up this time, all because she wanted to look nice for Sam.

I hear footsteps coming downstairs, so I look up from the SpongeBob Squarepants episode I was watching to see Max looking like...is the word goddess too much?

She stood there smiling shyly, her hair in loose ringlets, her happiness radiating through her skin. She was wearing jeans and a simple light-blue short-sleeved tight shirt, and matching Converse. She should have looked like a regular teenage girl; that's what any other girl would have looked like in that outfit, but to me, she couldn't have looked more gorgeous.

Damn, why on Earth do they say I'm like an emotional rock? I'm a puddle of emotion, on the inside at least. Maybe I'm more like a lobster or something...

I smile back at her, and say, "You look great. When's he getting here again?" _Five o' clock._

"At five. But until then," she says, plopping down on the couch next to me, "I am going to entertain myself with the notions of a talking sponge and his fishy friends."

"Technically, the writers and animators of the show are entertaining you. You have absolutely no part in it," I point out, grinning.

She looks at me with her best poker face (which isn't good at all) and says, "Don't ruin my vibe."

"Fang?" My sister, Nudge, calls me from the kitchen. Well, technically, her name is Monique, and she's not my real sister, but—oh, who cares, that's not what this story is about anyways.

"Yeah?"

"Come here a minute."

I get up and walk to the kitchen, going unnoticed by Max, who is staring at the TV with an open mouth and mesmerized eyes. I don't think I'll ever get sick of looking at her.

"What do you want, Nudge?"

She and Ella, Max's half-sister, are waiting in the kitchen. "Fang...are you okay with this?"

I frown. "Okay with what?"

"Max and Sam," Ella says bluntly. Well, now I know that tactlessness runs in the family.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

Nudge groans. "Oh my god, Fang, you love her!"

I take a step back. "Wha—I don't—okay, you guys are—no, I'm leaving. G'bye." I turn to exit the kitchen when I hear the doorbell.

"Okay, guys, that's Sam, I'm leaving!" Max calls from the living room.

"Bye, Max! Have fun! Don't stay out too late!" Her mom calls from upstairs. Apparently, she thought Sam was a "nice boy" and "was a gentleman." Hmph.

"Fang, don't let her get away," Ella says quietly. I don't turn around; I keep walking back to SpongeBob when Max calls from the front door.

"Bye, Fang! Wish me luck!" she says, as she puts on her shoes.

I stare at her for a moment. She's so beautiful. "Max, wait." She looks up at me.

I walk towards her, and grab her hands. Crap. I had no idea what I meant to say when I called out her name. "Just...if he tries anything, kick his ass, okay?"

She grins. "Got it, Dad. I'll see you later, you're staying over tonight, right?"

"Yeah, sure, but does Sam know you're coming home to another man?" I ask with a smirk.

She swats my arm. "Oh, shut up. And have _Anchorman_ and the popcorn ready before I get back." Max puts her hand on the doorknob.

I laugh, but there's no humor in it. "Okay. Wait, Max."

She turns around again. "What, Fang? Being late is not good for firs—" She doesn't get a chance to finish her sentence, because right then, I grabbed her head and brought her lips to mine.

You hear all these people always going on about fireworks and sparks and all that, but I didn't really feel anything. It was just a peck, really. Although, my heart did jump around a little. Or a lot. And my stomach might have done a couple of somersaults. Also, I'm pretty sure I just died and was reborn, like a phoenix. Yeah, that's about it. Maybe some butterflies.

I pulled back to see her shocked face. "So, uh, have fun on your date. Yeah. Okay." I turned and headed back to the living room, not waiting to hear her response. A few minutes later, I heard the slamming of her front door.

Well, crap.

**So that's it for the first chapter. Please review and I would really like to see some critiques and suggestions, as this is my first fanfiction. **

**Also please leave requests for any one-shots or two-shots you'd like to see. I think I might do some more before a real, long story. Leave suggestions for stories, too! Just not any clichés, or if it is one, give it a twist or something. I am also looking for a beta, so if you're interested, PM me.**

**So yeah, that's it, thanks for reading and please leave a review! Thanks!**

**Buh-bye!**

**~fleece~**


	2. Chapter 2

**You guys have no idea how happy your reviews, follows and favorites made me! Seriously, thank you for making my day!**

**Without further adieu, I present to you the end of Well, Crap!**

**Disclaimer: I'm still not James Patterson.**

I left Max's house ten minutes after she left with Sam. Currently, I am laying in my bed with the TV on, but muted, headphones in, eating chocolate. Yeah, girls aren't the only ones who cry over failed relationships.

Not that I was crying. Nah, I'm too macho for that, I was just...peeing out of my eyes. Yeah. That.

Outside, I hear a car pull into a driveway. I go to the window to see who it is. It's Sam's car in Max's driveway. Yeah, Max and I live across the street from each other. Classic story, boy-girl living next door to each other, become best friends, fall in love type of thing. Except, you know, she doesn't love me back.

I see them get out of the car, so I open the window to hear what they're saying. I mean, I'm not trying to eavesdrop and be a creep, it's just an instinct.

He's walking her to her door, _like a true gentleman. _Gentleman, my ass. They stand on her porch, and he smiles at her, leaning in. I know I should turn my head so it hurts less, but it's like a car crash; you want to look away, but you just can't.

All of a sudden, she steps back. He looks at her and frowns. I strain my ears to hear what they're saying.

"You okay, Max?"

She sighs. "Yeah , I'm fine, I just...Sam, I'm sorry, you're a real nice guy, but I think I have feelings for someone else. I'm sorry." Say what?

There's a pause and Sam says, "Oh. Um, well, okay, I...I better go. See you on Monday." He walks back to his car, looking defeated, and I can't help but grin. I see Max go back into her house.

Stepping away from the window, I sit on my bed and I find myself not being able to stop smiling. _Get it together, Fang, just because she said she likes someone, that doesn't mean it's you. _But in that moment, I stopped listening to my brain for once and just reveled in my glory.

My moment was cut short my the ring of my phone. Grabbing it, I read the caller ID. Max.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm down. I press the answer button and try to sound casual. "Hey, there, Ride. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?" Okay, has my voice always been that high?

"You're an idiot," she says. She's smiling, I can tell, but I can also hear something else in her voice, something serious.

"Oh, am I?"

"You know, we never did finish _Anchorman_."

"I'll be over in ten, make the popcorn, will you?"

"It' a date." Oh, my god. Oh. My god. Did she just. Okay. Okay. No, I'm not freaking out. I just-okay, I'm fine, I'm fine. But HOLY CRAP. "Fang? You okay?"

"Seeing two men in one night, Maximum Ride, you _whore._"

"Come say that to my face, jackass." This time, I only heard the smile.

"You got it, mistress." With that, I hang up the phone, and resist the urge to do a victory dance.

**Well, that's it for my first story here. How'd you like the ending? Yay? Nay? **

**So I'd really appreciate it if you could comment on what I could improve for my next story, some tips and suggestions. Please also leave some requests for any one shots or two shots that you'd like to see, I will write all of them before I start a big story.**

**If you have any plot ideas for a real, big story, I'd love to hear it, as I'm kind of stuck with that. So yeah, PM me about that. I am also looking for a beta, if anyone is interested. **

**Please leave a review, some comments/suggestions and requests for one shots and/or stories! Keep a look out for new stories coming your way. Thanks :D**


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